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The Struggle is Real
Aug. 15th, 2017 01:09 pmI've been struggling for several months to feel, think, and act like a responsible adult. I'm sure it's part of my depression after my father's death in February, and I'm sure it will eventually pass. In the meantime, though, I am really getting on my nerves.
I look for any opportunity for distraction or procrastination to avoid even the smallest everyday tasks. Have to fold socks? Let's check Pinterest first! Time to scoop the kitty litter? I really need a Coke from McDonald's! House looks like an extreme episode of Hoarders? Let's try posting to Dreamwidth about avoidance, distraction, and procrastination!
I know what I'm doing, I know where it's coming from, I know I'll feel better if I just scoop the litter box or empty the dishwasher or do a load of laundry, but I don't do the things. I also know that I'll get through this and I'll start to do all the things again, and that it takes time to process grief, and that grief doesn't have an expiration date. I still wish I had a magic washing machine that would do everything for me, though.
I look for any opportunity for distraction or procrastination to avoid even the smallest everyday tasks. Have to fold socks? Let's check Pinterest first! Time to scoop the kitty litter? I really need a Coke from McDonald's! House looks like an extreme episode of Hoarders? Let's try posting to Dreamwidth about avoidance, distraction, and procrastination!
I know what I'm doing, I know where it's coming from, I know I'll feel better if I just scoop the litter box or empty the dishwasher or do a load of laundry, but I don't do the things. I also know that I'll get through this and I'll start to do all the things again, and that it takes time to process grief, and that grief doesn't have an expiration date. I still wish I had a magic washing machine that would do everything for me, though.
